just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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