"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she told me i tasted like america
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
