Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
