No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
