Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We are two peas in an std pod
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
