Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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