Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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