I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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