I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
