We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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