shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
