Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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