Tell her she can't have a vagina
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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