my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
