I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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