Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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