Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
