Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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