last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Enjoy the penises
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
