On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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