Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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