even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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