I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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