I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
