You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
