ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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