Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
