i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize