I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
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I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
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Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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