I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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