and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
