Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
