well I can't set my house on fire every night
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
