i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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