My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
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In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
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I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.