dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
