Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college

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(905): when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college http://tfl.nu/ke7d

Replies (43) Good night (1390) Bad night (6360)
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(718): View more from New York

He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.

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(718): He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race. http://tfl.nu/hbzv

Replies (28) Good night (6185) Bad night (1111)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.

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(541): Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing. http://tfl.nu/0c84

Replies (10) Good night (3992) Bad night (783)
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(619): View more from California

Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings

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(619): Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings http://tfl.nu/z81c

Replies (13) Good night (3823) Bad night (1075)
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(862): View more from New Jersey

I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?

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(862): I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you? http://tfl.nu/xnnk

Replies (16) Good night (2460) Bad night (878)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?

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(757): Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes? http://tfl.nu/b8rs

Replies (40) Good night (1010) Bad night (2287)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.

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(973): We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend. http://tfl.nu/o8s0

Replies (3) Good night (940) Bad night (509)
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(760): View more from California

I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart

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(760): I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart http://tfl.nu/0amr

Replies (7) Good night (1040) Bad night (528)
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(518): View more from New York

Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.

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(518): Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try. http://tfl.nu/4xiu

Replies (2) Good night (826) Bad night (386)
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(503): View more from Oregon

So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.

(503): View more from Oregon

He asked if he could come over tomorrow....

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(503): So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn. (503): He asked if he could come over tomorrow.... http://tfl.nu/yk5d

Replies (9) Good night (1701) Bad night (429)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?

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(208): I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know? http://tfl.nu/ulgs

Replies (3) Good night (617) Bad night (343)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.

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(404): Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to. http://tfl.nu/ye3d

Replies (5) Good night (585) Bad night (398)
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(912): View more from Georgia

I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not

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(912): I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not http://tfl.nu/o8dj

Replies (5) Good night (598) Bad night (356)
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(540): View more from Virginia

The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.

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(540): The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness. http://tfl.nu/p6k2

Replies (0) Good night (409) Bad night (307)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.

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(202): With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase. http://tfl.nu/fzjk

Replies (9) Good night (912) Bad night (363)

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