Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
