ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
hahahahaha turkey breast
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
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And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
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Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?