What a fucking waste of an outfit
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.