Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.

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  (773): So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight. http://tfl.nu/dnnn
  Replies (29) Good night (777) Bad night (2823)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop

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  (330): If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop http://tfl.nu/zan9
  Replies (18) Good night (650) Bad night (2591)
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  (858): View more from California

  threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter

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  (858): threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter http://tfl.nu/n5bo
  Replies (13) Good night (4515) Bad night (895)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..

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  (847): boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this.. http://tfl.nu/2izx
  Replies (8) Good night (2891) Bad night (711)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.

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  (412): Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day. http://tfl.nu/ky2l
  Replies (6) Good night (1849) Bad night (948)
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  (310): View more from California

  It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots

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  (310): It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots http://tfl.nu/44j2
  Replies (4) Good night (648) Bad night (1579)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO

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  (503): That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal. (1-503): THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO http://tfl.nu/95vh
  Replies (10) Good night (2692) Bad night (599)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  You're so thoughtful.

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  (813): There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad. (701): You're so thoughtful. http://tfl.nu/53am
  Replies (1) Good night (1311) Bad night (467)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame

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  (516): Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame http://tfl.nu/dqi5
  Replies (2) Good night (1726) Bad night (466)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.

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  (719): Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could. http://tfl.nu/sgv5
  Replies (3) Good night (879) Bad night (614)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.

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  (204): Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas. http://tfl.nu/2j0v
  Replies (9) Good night (975) Bad night (515)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough

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  (931): pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough http://tfl.nu/s0pj
  Replies (4) Good night (485) Bad night (1082)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Mole people?

  (425): View more from Washington

  Mole people

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  (425): The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are. (541): Mole people? (425): Mole people http://tfl.nu/8coi
  Replies (8) Good night (1285) Bad night (395)
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  (518): View more from New York

  If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.

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  (518): If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd. http://tfl.nu/04nl
  Replies (8) Good night (856) Bad night (415)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me

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  (304): My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me http://tfl.nu/flmi
  Replies (4) Good night (592) Bad night (192)

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