About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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