i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Let's get the cat blown out
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
