I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
