I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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