someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
