Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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