so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
