I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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