K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
