You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
