What a fucking waste of an outfit
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
