The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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