at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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