You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
