I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
