haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
