Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
