Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
