I just pynch a tree in the face
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
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I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
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Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?