hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
