You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
