you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
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