In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
someone owes me an orgasm
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
