I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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