That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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