I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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